Guilt… a good mum?

Recently I’ve been feeling guilty about pretty much everything…

Guilty I am working and leaving Jasper.

Guilty I get so annoyed that Jasper moans a lot despite knowing it’s separation anxiety…

Guilty that I feel guilty for feeling the way I do…

You get the idea. The word guilty now doesn’t mean anything and just blurs into everything else.

As a mum like any parent, I think this is completely normal, however it isn’t a nice feeling.

I am absolutely smitten by our son, I really am. I just feel sometimes I could be a better mum.

Maybe I should be one do those instagram mums who cooks those amazing dinners with cute little shape vegetable cut outs, some nights I struggle to even put together a dinner for my partner and I, let alone try and make Jaspers pretty…

Perhaps I should be spending time planning activities for him to do, widening his experiences. I feel guilty that all we do is sit on the play mat, or go walking or meet friends for play dates. For some reason I feel this is not enough…. I placed an order on amazon last night at 3am for finger paints, next week I plan to get me and little man messy!!

Why as a mum do we feel we are not doing enough?!

I searched baby play dough recipe, so in an attempt to satisfy the activity desire we are going to have a sensory play session.

Time is a factor, I just don’t feel like I have the time, working a lot, and the time I do spend with Jasper is also the time where house work needs to be done and then it’s a battle to complete that list that’s getting bigger in your head…

Being a working mum, running my own business, that’s not easy. I feel guilty that I am on my phone a lot of the day, answering emails. Unfortunately the business wont grow without effort, yet the guilt is there that my son sees me on my phone a lot.

When does being a mum get easier…? When does the feeling of guilt subside…? Well guess what it doesn’t….

You might not always be the perfect model, you may not always enjoy being a responsible grownup, you may want to just be young again having no care in the world but hey your a mum, a mum to a beautiful baby/ies. You just need to be the best you can for them whatever situation you may be in.

We may not always do “enough” with our babies or feel we are “enough” but to them we are their world 💙

Author:

A first time Mum, making it up as I go along. A honest frank account of mummy life!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s